Ever felt uncomfortable addressing a large group of people?
How about having difficult conversations?Ever experienced gut wrenching discomfort because of a conflict?
How does one overcome these self imposed pressures and emotions?
It’s a phenomenon called ‘Personal Mastery’ and it takes a bit of work to
develop.
Depending on the challenge most people develop a persona to help them
through it.
Persona is a mask or appearance that one presents to the world.
These are versions of yourself and behaviours that you tap into, sometimes
unintentionally, when confronting challenges.
Persona was used by the ancient Greeks and Romans in theatre and was
represented by a mask that the actor would wear while playing a particular
character.
Are we any different when it comes to performing roles or tasks that are a
little outside of our comfort zones?
I recently saw an interview with Meat Loaf where he admitted that he didn’t
perceive of himself as a rock and roll star but he does see himself as an actor
portraying a rock and roll star. This is how his authentic self copes with the
stress of standing up in front of adoring fans. It’s an interesting question to
ask but when are we really our authentic selves? Meat Loaf was very blunt about
it and I find it very refreshing to hear that kind of honesty from someone as
famous as him. Freddie Mercury said the same thing during an interview while he
was on the “It’s a Kind of Magic” tour. He said that that’s not really him up
there pumping his arms and trouncing about on the stage; it’s a persona he
adopts. It would be ridiculous if he was like that in his day to day life. We
have these mental models of what it is that a rock and roll star should be. Do
we have these perceived notions about ourselves as well?
Mental models can often be beneficial but they can also do harm to
individuals and organizations. Mental Models are big assumptions and beliefs
that are anchored in ourselves or our organizations and sometimes we need to let
them go. Some people believe that they can only be who they really are after
they retire and some people cannot separate what they do from who they are. Are
these mental models bad for us and can we let go of them?
The elephant in the room – Something we all know about but never talk about. You don’t heal a festering wound by hiding it under a band aid. You heal it by cleaning it and exposing it to the air. If something is negatively impacting you (or your organization) then it needs to be exposed and talked about. Is it possible to turn a ‘Win – Lose’ situation into a ‘Win – Win’ situation? In most cases it is possible but it takes leadership and a measure of fortitude to have a meaningful and structured conversation in a safe physical and emotional space.
Peter Senge says, “Personal Mastery goes beyond competence and skills, it
means living life from a creative viewpoint not reactive.”
What do you want in life and in work?
How do you make that happen?When your persona and authentic self align with one another you are starting to exhibit some of the characteristics of personal mastery. Practitioners of personal mastery exhibit the following characteristics
They have a sense of purpose that lies behind their goals
- Their vision is more like a calling than a good idea
- They see current reality as an ally, not an enemy
- They are committed to seeing reality increasingly accurately
- They are extremely inquisitive
- They do not resist, but work with, the forces of change
- They feel connected to others and to life itself
Senge links personal mastery to effective leadership stating, “The core
leadership strategy is simple: be a model. Commit yourself to your own personal
mastery.”
In my experience it is only when your authentic self and your persona come into alignment that you have stepped onto the threshold of personal mastery. You lose the mask because confidence and experience become the staple of your efforts. You are now free to be yourself in areas that once were unfamiliar and uncomfortable and you are accepting of phenomena that were foriegn previously.
In my experience it is only when your authentic self and your persona come into alignment that you have stepped onto the threshold of personal mastery. You lose the mask because confidence and experience become the staple of your efforts. You are now free to be yourself in areas that once were unfamiliar and uncomfortable and you are accepting of phenomena that were foriegn previously.
Fine article Richard. I like your mention of the need to openly talk about the elephant in the room. I prefer the term "stinky rotten fish" but the point is the same.
ReplyDelete